.Publisher's Details: The observing is the text message of a letter from Exploration 3 Commander Frank L. Culbertson (Leader, USN Retired), reflecting on the activities of September 11.September 12, 2001 7:34 p.m.I haven't written very much concerning specifics of this particular purpose in the course of the month I've been actually below, generally for pair of explanations: the first being actually that there has been actually quite little bit of opportunity to do that type of creating, and furthermore, considering that I'm not exactly sure just how pleasant I am actually discussing ideas I show to family and friends with the rest of the globe.Well, obviously the planet changed today. What I mention or even do is actually really slight contrasted to the value of what occurred to our nation today when it was attacked by ... through whom? Revolutionaries is actually all we understand, I suppose. Difficult to understand at whom to guide our rage as well as concern ...I had merely completed a number of activities today, the most lengthy being actually the physical examinations of all staff participants. In an exclusive talk observing that, the flight cosmetic surgeon told me they were possessing a really negative time on the ground. I had no concept ...He defined the condition to me as ideal he understood it at ~ 0900 CDT. I was dumbfounded, at that point horrified. My very first idea was that this had not been a true conversation, that I was actually still listening to among my Tom Clancy tapes. It simply failed to seem to be feasible on this scale in our country. I could not also envision the particulars, also just before the updates of additional destruction began being available in.Vladimir dropped in rather promptly, noticing that one thing extremely major was actually being talked about. I swayed Michael into the module also. They were actually additionally astounded as well as stunned. After our company signed off, I made an effort to explain to Vladimir and also Michael as best I could possibly the possible immensity of the act of terror in midtown New york and at the Pentagon. They accurately recognized and were very understanding.I glanced at the World Chart on the personal computer to find where over the globe our team were as well as saw that our company were actually happening southeast away from Canada as well as would be overlooking New England in a couple of moments. I zoomed around the station up until I located a window that will provide me a perspective of New York City and grabbed the nearest electronic camera. It occurred to become a video camera, and I was actually appearing south from the window of Michael's log cabin.The smoke seemed to be to possess an odd bloom to it at the foundation of the column that was actually streaming south of the area. After reading through some of the newspaper article our team merely got, I think our experts were actually checking out NY around the moment of, or soon after, the failure of the 2nd tower. Exactly how unpleasant ...I scanned the camera all along the East Coast to the south to observe if I could see some other smoke cigarettes around Washington, or anywhere else, however nothing showed up.It was fairly difficult to consider job afterwards, though we had some to perform, but on the next orbit our team went across the US additional south. All three people were working 1 or 2 cams to try to obtain views of New York or Washington. There was actually haze over Washington, but no specific source might be found. It all looked fabulous coming from 2 to 3 hundred miles away. I can't picture the awful settings on the ground.Aside from the mental effect of our country being dealt with and also countless our consumers and maybe some friends being actually gotten rid of, the most overwhelming emotion being actually where I am actually is one of solitude.Upcoming time ... I guess the fatigue and mental strain got the most ideal of me. I could not stay awake and also continue to compose. Today was still challenging, however we began receiving even more information, plus our company had the respect of talking straight with the Center Director, Roy Estess, who guaranteed us that the ground crews will remain to work and also guarantee our safety, in addition to the secure function of the Station. Our company also heard from our Administrator, Mr. Goldin, that included that the companions in the Program are actually all entirely devoted to continuing risk-free procedures and assistance. These were actually certainly never inquiries for me. I know all these people! The ground staffs have been unbelievably supporting, incredibly understanding of the impact of the news, and have tried to become as practical as feasible. They have all been actually quite qualified as well as centered though I can not picture the distraction of this particular type of information being available in as well as the notion that government buildings could be in danger. They certainly never bypassed a beat, also when transferring control centers. And also a group of senior staffs as well as friends provided us a rather detailed instruction about what was actually recognized and what was being carried out in the authorities and at NASA on Tuesday afternoon, which was very practical and sort of all of them to do in the midst of all the chaos. The Russian TsUP has also been actually supportive and also handy, trying to uplink newspaper article when our very own resources were actually unusable, as well as claiming kind words ...My crewmates have actually been actually fantastic, as well. They know it's been actually a hard day for me and also the people on the ground, and they've attempted to be as also keeled and also practical as achievable. Michael even fixed me my preferred Borscht soup for supper. And also they give me a lot of area to think when I required it. They are actually very considerate and of course shocked at whoever would certainly do this.I understand plenty of folks in Washington, so many people who journey to DC and New York City, many who are aviators, that I experienced certain I would receive at the very least a few pieces of bad news over the next few days. I obtained the 1st one today when I learned that the Leader of the American Airlines plane that attacked the Pentagon was Chic Burlingame, a schoolmate of mine. I encountered Chic during plebe summer months when our company remained in the D&B all together, as well as our team had tons of lessons all together. I can not visualize what he has to of looked at, and also right now I hear that he may possess risen even more than we can easily even consider through possibly avoiding his plane from being the one to attack the White Home. What an awful loss, yet I ensure Chic was combating fearlessly to the end. And splits don't circulate the very same in space ...It's tough to illustrate just how it feels to be the only United States fully off the planet at a time such as this. The sensation that I ought to be there with every one of you, coping with this, assisting in some way, is frustrating. I understand that our company perform the limit (or past) of a horrible switch in the past history of the planet. A lot of factors will certainly never ever coincide once more after September 11, 2001. Not only for the 1000s as well as thousands of folks directly impacted by these ghastly acts of violence, however probably for everybody. We will certainly locate our own selves really feeling in different ways concerning lots of things, including perhaps area exploration, however.It is actually horrendous to view smoke pouring from cuts in your very own nation coming from such an amazing vantage point. The duality of performing a space capsule devoted to enhancing daily life on the earth and also enjoying life being ruined by such premeditated, awful actions is jolting to the psyche, no matter who you are actually. And the expertise that every thing will definitely be various than when our company released by the opportunity our team land is actually a little disconcerting. I believe in our nation and also in our leadership that our team will definitely carry out everything possible to better defend her as well as our loved ones, as well as to deliver compensation for what has been actually done. I possess self-confidence that the really good individuals at NASA will certainly carry out every little thing necessary to proceed our purpose safely and also return us properly at the correct time. As well as I miss out on every one of you quite. I can't exist along with you personally, and our experts possess a long way to go to accomplish our goal, yet be specific that my center is actually with you, as well as know you reside in my prayers.Submissively, Frank.September 14, 2001 10:49 p.m. An upgrade to the final letter ... The good news is, it's been an occupied full week up listed here. And to show that, like our country, we are continuing on our desired road along with company as usual (as much as achievable). Tonight the most up to date add-on to the place, the Russian Docking Chamber will certainly be actually launched coming from Baikonur, Kazakhstan. On Saturday night (United States time), it is going to dock with us, at a port never used before on the nadir edge of the Solution Module. This brand-new module will provide us an additional location to dock a Progress or even Soyuz and will certainly deliver a large airlock along with pair of able to be used hatches for administering EVA's in Russian Orlan suits, which our experts will definitely carry out a few of before our company return.The trouble before in dealing with this week was actually too little headlines. The trouble now is a lot of. It arrived all at once when e-mail was actually restored, as well as there's not enough opportunity to read it all! Plus it is actually also challenging to take care of all of it immediately. Yet I appreciate obtaining it, and I definitely enjoy the wonderful characters of help and friendly relationship I am receiving.We are actually succeeding aboard, receiving our work done, as well as talking about things. Last night we possessed a long dialogue over supper about the value of these celebrations, the achievable activities to follow, as well as what need to be actually performed. After supper, Michael resolved telling me that every e-mail he received coming from pals in Russia said particularly to inform me just how regretful they were actually that this happened, extending their condolences, and also asking exactly how I was actually carrying out. Vladimir instructed me the Russian phrase for "acknowledgements" after talking with the previous CDR, Yuri Usachev, on the phone in Superstar Metropolitan area. (Both the Russian and also the English phrases are a lot too lengthy to articulate easily.) Extremely type people.For the final two days, the Russian MCC has sufficed to transmit real-time broadcasts of radio headlines regarding the event and connected stories, to be sure I was well notified. Every expert that has started the line to review a technique or even a trouble contends some aspect expanded introductions to me along with kind words. Tonight the Russian capcom told our company that because of the special day of remembrance in the US, throughout the day individuals had been actually bringing flowers as well as edging all the wall structures of the United States consulate in Moscow, and also this night they were actually lighting candles in the street outside the consular office. Exactly how the globe has actually changed.People just about everywhere seem to be to realize the senselessness and terror in this particular attack. As well as the significant reduction. Moscow has actually taken care of these sort of troubles in the final handful of years with apartment and also train battles, so they are actually as distressed to eliminate this risk as our experts are actually. But the bottom collection is actually that there are actually great people all over that want to reside in tranquility. I read through that a kid talked to, "United States is actually therefore good to other countries, our experts constantly help everyone, just how can they dislike our company a great deal?".I hope the example of teamwork and rely on that this space capsule plus all the people in the plan illustrate daily are going to at some point inspire the remainder of the globe to work the same way. They must!However, our experts will not be actually taking flight over the United States during the time people are lighting candlesticks. Don't know if our experts can find that anyway. Our team carried out, having said that, view a quite uncommon and also lovely attraction a couple of moments ago: the launch of our Docking Compartment on a Soyuz enhancer. Our experts were actually surpassing it as well as it emerged regarding three minutes after its launch from Baikonur as the sun attacked our station, so it was actually still unaware. It seemed like a huge comet along with a right, large rear silhouetted versus the darker planet underneath. Even with some negative illumination for some time as the sunlight attacked our home window at a reduced position, I handled some online video of it as first we passed the rocket, and then viewed it start to mesmerize as it gained elevation as well as rate. I filmed till major motor cutoff and also booster splitting up took place equally our company moved toward sunup on the Himalayas. A memorable sight in a memorable week ...Life happens, even in space. Our team're here to stay ... Frank.